A Word that Should Never Be Said at the Dinner Tab

**Alex** · September 9th, 2001, 05:39 AM

Let me respond in reverse order.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by soulfilms:
Something really to be avoided at the dinner party/table unless its a bunch of close friends is the righteous airing of political views in a condescending manner as to suggest that any other mode of thought lies in the realm of stupidity.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Very funny and true, I've overheard the very sentiment you speak of while stopping by a client's home to deliver a tape...

While I was waiting in the foyer, I overheard the exact discussion you are talking about going on at the dinner table among a group of well to doer's...

I was tempted to poke my head in and say something....

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by soulfilms:

Now, if you want to make yourself sound smart, unless it's a knowing crowd, look up a few interesting points on say...vajrayana buddhism and by the end of the dinner, you'll be known as the resident Buddhist expert even if you don't know two cents worth.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The average temperature starts to rise in Cleveland Ohio on Valentines Day.

Does that count?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by soulfilms:
huh?

what about saying no to some offerred food which the host doesn't know the person didn't like? Ditto with drinks?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nope, It is an art to be perfected, to have a dinner and allow your guest or family member the ability to enjoy their meal without them having to say "no" to any issue that relates to the food at the table is a skill that when mastered....is a good thing.

Hey, the food has feelings.

But more importantly, food is a celebration not to be marred by the word no.

To have the perfect dinner environment, you should prepare all food questions and learn to ask questions in such a way that your guest or family member can answer any and all questions without the use of the word no.

And you should ask questions in such a way that the word "NO" is not elicited by your guest as it relates to the food on the table.

For a happy, unencumbered meal, just say no to the word "no".

-Alex

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**Alex** · September 9th, 2001, 03:17 PM

A word that should never be said at the the dinner table...

The word NO.

If you ask someone a question about food at the table, and it causes them to say no, you have not been a good host.

Never ask, Would you like more salad, or fruit...", never ask a question at the dinner table about food that would require someone else to say no, or no thank you.

It puts a big negative on the positive act of eating.

It's weird to put someone in the position to say no at the dinner table, it's manipulative, and it is uncalled for.

-Alex

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**soulfilms** · September 9th, 2001, 03:51 PM

huh?

what about saying no to some offerred food which the host doesn't know the person didn't like? Ditto with drinks?

Something really to be avoided at the dinner party/table unless its a bunch of close friends is the righteous airing of political views in a condescending manner as to suggest that any other mode of thought lies in the realm of stupidity.

Now, if you want to make yourself sound smart, unless it's a knowing crowd, look up a few interesting points on say...vajrayana buddhism and by the end of the dinner, you'll be known as the resident Buddhist expert even if you don't know two cents worth.

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**soulfilms** · September 10th, 2001, 09:44 AM

Still not convinced.

What if you were a guest and were offered seconds. Is that a bad call on the hosts' part or should you accept knowing you don't want any more food?

Besides, the key to a successful dinner party is that EVERYONE enjoys themselves (including hosts) which means that if I were host and I was bursting my little red chest so to not make any questions, quieries, general well regard answer a no, I wouldn't be having a good time which would really defeat the purpose.

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**Alex** · September 10th, 2001, 08:01 PM

Granted, you make a good point about the the Dinner-Host having the right to ask a question otherwise they may burst. (that's funny)

I'm simply saying it is a worthwhile goal if one can have a dinner where the guests never have to say the word "no" in regards to food.

What I am suggesting may be next to impossible. So perhaps I should not put it in an "absolute" subtext, but visualize all the times where dinner guests have said "no" when it related to an issue about the food at the table.

If one can ask a food related question to a dinner guest in such a manner that the word "no" is not the only response available from the dinner guest, I believe the overall tone at the dinner table will be richer.

-Alex

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[This message has been edited by Alex (edited September 10, 2001).]

**soulfilms** · November 25th, 2001, 12:22 AM

Sorry to be digging, but I've got a new word.

It's not really a word:

ICK

I was having dinner recently and the next table, went "blah blahblah blah blah Ewww Ick" and there was no conversation on that table after that.

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**SHATOUSHKA** · November 25th, 2001, 01:22 AM

you know, i just read this thread for the very first time. i do not think i agree with the 'no' thingy.
i understand the psychology behind such a thought...however, i would much rather seem obtrusive in (consistantly?) asking my guests if they need anything rather than having them sit there wanting something and having the decency NOT to ask.
i dunno.
i would prefer my guests asking for something i wasn't aware that they needed.
reversal--
if i was at a party, be it casual or formal, i would feel negative toward the damned host if i HAD to ask for something that was an obvious. if my glass is leveling at half...someone better think to ask me if i want a refil...
otherwise, that person is on my 'bad' list.

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~~share some greased tea with me~~

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